Renew your relationship with your partner - FOX 54 WZDX – Huntsville News, Weather and Sports

By Lila Havens, Staff Writer, myOptumHealth
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Remember what it was like when you and your partner first became a couple? Things seemed so great. It was exciting just being together. You thought this was someone you'd never get tired of.

Relationships start out new and fresh, but over time they can grow as stale as week-old bread. Habits that seemed charming or quirky at first can become grating. The demands of everyday life may turn your focus away from each other. You may find yourself living side by side with your partner but growing farther apart.

It's a fact: relationships take work and commitment. If the zest has gone out of yours, try these tips to rekindle your partnership.

• Spend quality time together. It's easy to get caught up in pressures of work and family and put your relationship with your partner on the back burner. Set aside time for just the two of you, and make it quality time, when you are rested, calm and can pay attention to each other. Meet for a glass of wine after work, or go for a walk in the park.
• Listen. When couples get used to each other, they often tune each other out.No gift is more valuable than really listening. When your partner talks, take the time to listen. It will be more meaningful and more powerful if you give your undivided attention. Turn off the TV or computer and make eye contact. These simple acts speak volumes about how much you value what your partner has to say.
• Show your appreciation. When relationships become old hat, couples often start to take each other for granted. Get out of this rut. Say "thank you" and give hugs and kisses more often. Bring your partner flowers or little treats to show that you recognize the things he or she does for you.
• Focus on the positive. Everyone has some annoying traits. It can be destructive to fixate on negatives, like your partner leaving dirty socks on the floor. Think back to when you first started dating. What first attracted you to your mate? Remind yourself of those qualities. Teach yourself to counter negative thoughts with positive ones.
• Do something new together. Shake up your routine a little by trying a new activity, something you both think would be enjoyable. It might be taking dancing lessons, learning a new sport or trying a new restaurant. New activities can be a way to connect and bring a dose fun back to your relationship.
• Touch more. Our sense of touch is an important part of being human. Skin-to-skin contact can help you reconnect if you've grown apart. Sex is an important way to be physically intimate, but don't underestimate the power of holding hands or giving hugs. Use touch to show that you love and treasure your partner.

SOURCES:

• American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Marital distress. Accessed: 02/25/2010

• American Psychological Association. Nine psychological tasks for a good marriage. Accessed: 02/25/2010

• Ohio State University Extension. Enhancing midlife marriage. Accessed: 02/25/2010

• HelpGuide.org. Relationship help. Accessed: 02/25/2010